Let's Talk About Hugs

Hey Harbor Cov!

It’s time we talk about a behavior that so many people at Harbor Cov feel incredibly normal participating in… and I have some questions. I’ve seen kids do this, grown adults do it, and even different generations participating in this behavior together.

What is it?

It’s hugs.

If you’re new to Harbor Cov, let me introduce myself. My name is Matt… and I get awkward about hugging. It’s not because my mother never hugged me as a child. On the contrary… Ronda was (and still is) really good about hugging her children and grandchildren. I don’t know why, but I just get weird when it’s time to give or receive a hug. I do have some stories I could share about some awkward hugging moments I have had, so maybe I am just avoiding hugs altogether now for survival.

But I am trying to be normal. In fact, I think I have grown a lot in the last 11 years at Harbor Cov when it comes to hugs. I came in 2015 very much with an “I hate hugs” vibe, and that became the running joke in the youth group and around the church.

But here is my confession: I don’t actually hate hugs (gasp). In fact, if I’m being completely transparent, hugs are nice (I guess I am saying the quiet parts out loud now).

Somewhere along the way, for sure, I realized it was just easier to lean into that "anti-hug" persona than it was to navigate the split-second panic of wondering where my arms are supposed to go, or how long the embrace should last, or the ultimate question… do I pat the back, give a little rub, or keep the hand still? I have found it always easier to let the narrative continue to avoid awkwardness. It was a comfortable shield, and I hid behind it.

But I need to change that narrative…. or at least put an end to it… because I don’t want it to get in the way of my relationships and for you to think I don’t care about you… because I kinda do. 😊

We talked a little bit about these kinds of moments on Sunday - the stories we tell about ourselves. How often do we let the broken, awkward, or uncomfortable parts of our lives harden into permanent labels? We say things like, “I’m just not a patient person,” “I’ll always be cynical,” or “I’ve never been good at forgiveness.” We use these narratives to protect ourselves and manage everyone else's expectations, but in doing so, we are actually walling ourselves off from growing as a person and connecting with those around us.

So what if we stopped letting those things define us? What if, instead, we brought those uncomfortable areas into the light with some confession - and allowed God to change us?

This week, I want to encourage you to examine the narratives you’ve been holding onto. Where are you hiding behind a label? Where is God inviting you to step out of a comfortable excuse and into something better, even if it feels a little incredibly awkward at first?

Let's figure it out together.

And if you see me on a Sunday or around town... I'm for sure open to a high-five… or, I guess, maybe even a hug. Just be gentle.